Why do some of our Black Men fall into these categories?

A pastor friend of mine asked on his Facebook on March 10, 2011 at 3:42pm:

“What happened to Black men..to cause us to change our course of nature from Women? To deny the Queen a Father, a Husband, and a best friend...to now be a baby daddy, a prison inmate, and a mamaz boi? What have we become?”

This led to an interesting discussion that after a few amens I felt I should share what I said. Please feel free to share your own thoughts about this very touchy subject. Love and grace my fellow readers =)

My response:

"I think I'm w/the first few comments. Society's women started expecting less and demanding less. "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands."-Prov 14:1. If we didn't marry a man who settled for this nonsense, if we believed better for our husbands, would they not rise to the challenge?

But could it be we let Jay-Z and Nikki Menaj and Beyonce or whoever is hot and in the big screen or on the radio dictate what a man or a woman is supposed to look like? We let commercials about weak fathers or sitcoms about unhappily marrieds or cartoons about neglectful parents feed our minds and cause us to act outside of the context of what true men and women should act.

We need the mind of Christ and the only way to walk in that is to tackle these issues head on, and nip them in the bud. Who is teaching men to be men? Who is teaching women to be women? Will each one please teach one? We need the Oreo effect going on here...

Glory to God bro it's so true I don't even blame the men. How can Adam thrive if Eve keeps on eating the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden? How can a man grow in love with a woman whose heart is snares and nets? A true woman of God will not only choose wisely but grow that which she has.

I can admit I was responsible for a lot of foolishness that I advocated in the past. Who but I allowed it? All a woman in America has to do to prevent years of heartache and pain is say "no". "No" is a powerful thing =).

Personally I do not call my husband one of my children. I call him a man. I expect him and encourage him as a man, and try not to jokingly demean him as many of us women can easily do without noticing. I try to align my vision with the God-spoken calling on Kenny's life. Praying for his strengths to become stronger and letting his weaknesses die from lack of sunshine. While we usually find people try to attack problems by always bringing them up, it's usually more effective to keep our eyes on what the big picture is supposed to look like and leave the problems at the altar.

Truth is, as wives we are supposed to be prophetic, doing our husbands good and not evil, edifying, exhorting, and building up our household with our words and our actions. Warning him of impending danger if God sees fit. Being obedient to him. Honoring him.

Isn't it the most beautiful thing when you find a couple happily married serving Christ together? With a real man who leads? And they are truly in love and edifying each other, not tearing each other down? What if we made that the majority? We really need to keep fighting for the mountain in the area of media so the world can see it is possible.

In the meantime, we need to pray that women be edified in their call to build, and men be edified in their call to lead, and that spiritual parents will make themselves available to even the most obscure opportunities to make disciples. Aiight fam =) love and grace"

Please, Don't Let My Gift Die!!!!!

This is a message I sent to a brother of mine who gave a very compelling testimony on FB tonight about his walk in the ministry of photography for a large campus ministry at my school. It is about losing access to the gift God has given you. God has been speaking to me concerning this for a while and I had to share this with you as he drew it out of me. Be blessed! =)

""In a sense, I had placed my gift so far above God that I was hardly paying Him or anything connected to Him any attention." This was powerful bro. This is something that is SO easy to do. Jesus said,"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." Jesus was not only saying He would die for us, but that, when He asked us even to die for Him, that if we would do it, then we are His friends. But we have to die to our "selves" before He can resurrect us into glory.


It's so hard to lose hold of our gift it's just like when Elisha prophesied to the Shunammite woman that she would have a son, and she did, and then her son died. But just as God resurrected that boy through Elisha God promises to us that He will also resurrect our gift and allow us to walk in the fullness of it when we are willing to submit all to Him admitting that He Alone was the reason we had the gift in the first place, and it is He Alone Whom we need. In that, we leave it in His hands to resurrect and that is hard.

Funny along the way, the enemy gives us false enemies. People who seem to be instigating us to be grievous about our lack. Like Hannah had the other wife causing her grief when she was barren. This is when it goes past forgiveness to just plain loving our enemies and blessing those that curse us. God put it to me this way, Jesus loved Judas even though He knew that Judas was going to betray Him. And Judas helped Jesus get to His cross. Our "enemies" help us get to where we will carry our own cross too. And once we have died to our flesh God can resurrect us into glory.

Bro, you are blessed that this time of trial was 5 months (though they were so grievously long to endure at times) because some of the trials we have to face take many, many years. But just as Elisha saw that boy resurrected, and just as Hannah conceived Samuel, even as Joseph became the savior to all of Israel, and David was crowned king in spite of being "wanted", even as Christ was raised from the dead in 3 days, God has promised to us that He will also resurrect the gifts which He has given us so that we can be used for His glory. "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." Because God's goodness leads us even to repentance because He is much more righteous than we are and He loves us so much more than we love ourselves."

Be blessed and even if you feel like you want to run, run to God, not to the world. The squeeze is there to prepare you for greater things! God loves us and He wants to brings us into His fullness. God makes everything beautiful In His Time. God bless you tonight =)

~Precious

When to Speak, When Not To...

Proverbs 19:14 - "House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD." -- "Therefore the prudent shall keep silence in that time; for it is an evil time."- Amos 5:13 ---Being prudent somehow gives us the wisdom when to keep silence during the "evil time". Proverbs 29:11 - "A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards." So cool.

Proverbs 18:20 A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled. 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. 22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

The fact these three scriptures are together, the one about a wife being a good thing admist the chapter about the power of the tongue tells me that God intends for us to speak sweet things to our husbands, be prudent, and exhort him, honor him, and build him. As shown in Proverbs 14:1 - Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

Women ought to study just as diligently as the men. 2 Timothy 2:15 - Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. Proverbs 18:4 - The words of a man's mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.

This way, she may have the truth of God to edify him. And when she asks him questions (with pure intentions), he is challenged to be ready with an answer or to seek that answer out.

1 Corinthians 14:35 - And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. 1 Peter 3:15 - But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: 16 Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ. --- He gets his preaching and teaching practice at home with You. This is why he is "apt to teach". 2 Timothy 2:24 - "And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient," You are his biggest disciple even if you are well-versed. You "keep him on his toes in the faith", if you will. This makes him desire to bless you, to minister to you, to be around you, when he has found that you are humble enough to receive from him.

Here's one more time. When we are full of pride we should be quiet. Go back, find humility, and then speak to our husbands in the language of honor (the only language he understands). We must wait until we hear the whole story before we answer the matters he brings to us. If we don't, we may wound his spirit, making it difficult for him to bear issues. This is shown in these verses.

Prov 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honour is humility. 13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. 14 The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?

Proverbs 27:15 - A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Proverbs 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

Also, when bitterness is involved, we should hold our tongues. Go get some wise counsel, and return in wisdom, and not pride, so as to avoid all contention. We should speak when we are well advised and bear wisdom concerning it. This is where reading books and listening to the wisdom of the elders in the faith comes in. This is where the old women teaching the younger ones to love their husbands comes in. Titus 23 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Talked to a sis of mine in the faith today, and after a nap this was pouring out of me so I had to share it. Glory to God. Hope it edifies someone =) Love and grace to you my sisters of virtue!!! Hold me a accountable true women of God, I look forward to some helpful feedback =) Love you!!!~P

Side Note: As a wife, the shame that I have experienced in the church concerning speaking is only when I have been perceived to be asking a question about the faith that Kenny could have answered at home and that's all. It is interpreted that the church of the Corinthians was experiencing disorder because the women were yelling out questions during the meetings that could have been answered at home by their husbands being diligent with them to study the matters out. The shame comes only in that the husband should have been answering those questions for them so that they would know by the time the meeting started. As virtuous women, our goal is to treat our husbands as the elders they are so that they may "sit among the elders of the land". Use this scripture of asking your husband to your and your husband's advantage and as a means of edifying him and also honoring him, that you might release life. (1 Cor 14:35)

Are You In Transition? A Thought for You.

Greetings friends and fam! Well, many of our friends are either in transition or nearing the end of a season of transition. As for us, we have gotten used to the rough waves that surround the Ark of life eternal here on Earth. I want to share with you something Father God showed me this evening.

When a person is in a season of transition, they should treat it like a car ride. Your vehicle to getting there is yourself, and you need to have God in the vehicle to get there safely. Remember, God called Noah into the Ark, that lets us know that God was in the Ark with Noah. Don't go through seasons of transitions alone, have friends who can help you. Strap on your seat belt. Be at peace. Listen to calming music that helps to soothe your soul. Listen to happy music that you can rejoice to. And remember that you will only be in the season of transition until your ride is up. So watch the condition of your soul. It is the vehicle in which you will have to reach your destination in, and the one which will determine just how rough that trip is going to be. Is your soul an armoured van or is it a Mazda Miata? If your soul is in poor condition, remember that the Word of God is there to fortify you, and the Spirit of God will position you where you must be so that He may comfort you and strengthen you. You can do all things through Christ which strengthens you! God bless you as you go about your journey!!! =)

Love~P

A Good New Year's Day =)

Kenny and I spent our New Year's Eve celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary. We dropped our four children off to Nana's at about 7pm and then we started looking for places to shop. Everything in Valdosta was closed! So we went home to our little cozy house in the country and at around 11pm I suggested that we visit the church down the street. It is not our home church but it was the only church we were familiar with in the local area. We went. God showed up and gave us all kinds of love.

As I sit here in my livingroom drinking hot milk preparing to go to bed I have to share how the woman of God prophesied to us for about an hour after service. She pulled me and my husband into her office and poured out the love of God upon us in our time of need. She told us answers to all kinds of questions that she could not have known we had been asking the LORD during the little interactions that she has had with us. I am so grateful to say that I have some more direction today than I did before the turn of the years. Glory to God! What a Great Way to start the New Year!!!